| Krewe
Cuts 2007
Jana:
You know you don't have to ride today. And sure some people might
call you a coward ....or...quiter.....or.....panty wear'en mamma's
boy, I just want you to know, it's -28º, your life insurance is
paid up, and you don't HAAAVE
to do the ride today. (BRR Ride • 2/3/07)
Team Crubside Tavern
(member 1): I've got some Blackberry Brandy if anyone
wants some. Team Crubside Tavern (member
2) I've got some Buttersotch schnapps. Mike
(KBW): I've got some Southern Comfort. Team
Curbside Tavern (member 2): Well, we have interesting
development here.... Our good friend from Krewebeadwhore has Southern
Comfort showing; can anybody else beat that? Ok, son, you've won
this hand, let's have a little nipp. (BRR
Ride • 2/3/07)
A.J.: I didn't know
there would be so much scrotal swelling. (BW
MYSPACE • 3/11/07) Wal-Mart
Sales Associate: These safety flags are a little
dangerous aren't they? (Corallville •
3/15/07)
Mike:
So the lesson we can take from this story is, if you are going to
stick anything up your butt, make sure the string is tied securely
and it's much longer than you think you will need.
(St. Pats Ride • 3/17/07)
Jerry: So
I guess I don't understand, did he want it out, or just the batteries
changed? (St. Pats Ride • 3/17/07)
Rider:
BEADWHORE!!!!! Marty:
Relax citizen. We have to piss the same as you. We're not immortals
you know. (St. Pats • 3/17/07)
R.L.:
I'm not sure if it was the Egg Drop Soup,
or Beef with Broccoli, or the Barbacued Spare Ribs, or the Crab
Meat Rangoons, or the Hot and Sour Cabbage rolls, or the peel and
eat shrimp, or the Szechuan Chicken, or the Sweet and Sour Pork.
or the Sweet and Sour Chicken, or the Pork Chow Mein, or the Egg
Foo Young, or the Pork Fried Rice, or the Pot Stickers, or the Chicken
with Snow Peas. or the General Tso's Chicken, or the Crispy Orange
Flavor Beef, or the Sesame Chicken. or the little finger cakes;
but something didn't sit right with me. Jana:
Yhea, I'm guessing it was those little finger
cakes. (St. Pats Ride • 3/17/07)
A.J.:
I just saw that some new study said of all the take out, Chinese
was supposed to be the worst for you. I think it said something
about high sodium, fat, and per serving calories. Something like
that. R.L.: I heard
that too, but that study was a little misleading. See forty five
minutes after you eat it, go get some blood work done, and you're
back to normal. It's like you never ate anything at all.
(phone • 3/22/07)
Mike:
So I tried to play I.T. Spiderman the other day and fix my wireless
internet receiver outside my house. I spy'deed up the pole just
fine. I remember adjusting the Dish. Now it was how I spy'deed down
the pole that gets a little fuzzy
for me.....................Oh, hey, have I told you the story of
how tried to play I.T. Spiderman yet? (phone
• 3/26/07)
Mike:
Do you know what the suggested consumption temperature is for New
Belgium's Spring Board beer? R.L.:
I don't know why? Mike:
We'll I've got one fridge out here set at 37º
for my -2º Below, one set at 45º for
my Saison and Sun Shine Wheat, one set at 50º
for my Abbey, and I don't care what the bottle says, I drink my
Fat Tire at 35º. So I guess what I
need to know is, should I buy my neighbor's old fridge; because
I don't want to drink my Spring Board at an unrecomended consumption
temperature. (phone
• 4/02/07)
Marty:
When wearing a Kilt, get up from vinyl seats, VERRRRRRYYYY SLOOWLY.
(Ragbrai / 2007)
R.L:
If you want to have real white teeth, do what I do. Brush your teeth
with your first piss of the morning. They say it works so well because
of the high concentration of ammonia. Rider:
NaaaAaaaaa...... Really?........ Nooooooo, You're kidding right?
Is he kidding?..... So do I just stick my brush under the stream,
or do I just pee in a cup and dip my the brush in that? (Ragbrai
/ 2007)
John
S: I'll give the fine people
of Spencer one thing. If given task, they work the job until it's
done, and done well. Worker:
Can one of you guys help me back my boom truck out of here? (10:45
p.m.; 3.5 hours after asking them to turn off the only street light
left on in the camp grounds. It just happen to be directly over
our tents.) ( Ragbrai, Spencer / 2007)
Katie:
In one of our high school honor classes, we
had to do some taxidermy.........seriously! (Ragbrai / 2007)
Bent
Rider: I was wondering what
was coming up from behind me. It sounded like a god damn rock'en
roll train. (Ragbrai / 2007)
Mom:
Look at those cyclist. They're wearing kilts. Little
Boy: Mommy, those aren't cyclist, those are rock
stars (Ragbrai, Cedar Fall / 2007)
Mike:
I've been gone for a couple days and I'm guessing
Brenda PROBABLY hasen't had
sex. So yes, we will be putting up our own tent tonight.
( Ragbrai, Cedar Fall / 2007)
Rider
Standing In the Farmboy's Line: Him?
Noooooo; he's gay'er than a handbag full of rainbows (Ragbrai
/ 2007)
R.L.:
How many guys with trumpets are there out on the route? We just
clicked off 12 miles at 19 mph, and the last thing I heard when
we left the last town was some guy playing the Ring of Fire. The
first thing I hear when we pull into this town is a guy playing
Ring of Fire on a trumpet. Mike:
Maybe it's Lance.
(Ragbrai / 2007)
Krewe
Kutz From 2006. (We were much funnier
then) |
